Empty Mailbox Again Today.
Still Waiting On An Answer.
I was a nurse for almost fifteen years before I got too damn sick to work. My autoimmune disease changed my whole life. And I fought like hell to keep working — until I couldn’t lift anymore and couldn’t walk the halls and my feet literally broke due to medication side effects and I was having cardiac issues and. . .
My doctor finally said enough was enough — because I was still trying to crawl through as best I could when I possibly could. . .
And I was still denied my initial disability request, despite my doctor saying I was disabled, because my disability was “severe” but I hadn’t been off of work for a year at that time.
So I appealed.
And it took 18 ridiculously long months in my state to get a hearing.
18 months with no income.
My health worsened during that time and I was diagnosed with an additional illness as well.
When the day of the hearing finally came, the judge was kind and seemed to listen carefully. And the vocational expert said that I am fully disabled — so I have every reason to be hopeful that my claim will be approved.
But the hearing was six weeks ago.
And I am still checking my mailbox every day.
And every day it has been empty.
It was again today.
No answer yet.
My whole life in the balance, hanging on one letter. I don’t know how to describe the agony of the waiting. Or the sinking feeling when the letter isn’t there yet again.
There is nothing to do but wait and wait and wait some fucking more.
I guess that’s why they call us patients after all.
